We had our Sunday Introduction to Meditation Class at Yoga Bliss. We practiced Dr. Rick Hanson‘s guided meditation called Opening to a Growing Sense of Contentment. The meditation is drawn from his audio series, The Enlightened Brain. In this meditation we experienced empathy and acceptance by attuning to our own bodies, emotions and thoughts.
In Chapter 9 of Rick’s book, The Buddha’s Brain: the Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom, he describes Compassion and Assertion as the two wings of relationship. Compassion brings caring to assertiveness. Asserting yourself lends a sense of comfort in extending caring because you are also seeking to meet your own needs. In order to feel truly compassionate we must first feel what the other person is going through. Empathy can cut through the brain’s automatic tendencies that create “us” and “them. As social animals we really need to feel “felt” by one another.
Rick encourages us to cultivate our empathic abilities. They’re kind of like super powers. When we see someone else make a motion, our brains light up in the areas that would light up when we make a similar motion. We have a similar experience when we witness someone else expressing emotion – especially a loved one. We are able to imagine the inner workings of someone else’s mind based on what we observe and know about them.
In practice, extending empathy enables us to realize how we’re all related to each other. Slowing down long enough to really attend with an open curiosity helps us from getting stuck in our views. Rick describes empathy as is virtue in action. It requires us to restrain our reactive patterns in order to stay truly present with an other person. It involves non-harming since a lack of empathy can open the door to hurting them unwittingly. Empathy contains inherent generosity: we are offering the willingness to be moved by another person.
We explored three branches of empathy by attuning and accepting: our bodies, our emotions and our thoughts. Offering ourselves and each other this kind of sustained attention is a valued gift. I feel this is at the heart of why we come together to meditate. We could easily stay at home, sit quietly and follow our breathing. We could even practice loving kindness meditation in our car! Yet there is a special energy that we co-create when we come together. We sense our shared intention and feel each other’s presence. We witness the inherent goodness that we all share.
Rick’s book offers more detailed guidelines on how to cultivate empathy. We agreed to try one of his recommendations by extending compassion to five different kinds of people every day this week: someone we’re grateful to (a benefactor), a loved one, a neutral person, someone we have a difficult relationship with and, last but not least, ourselves. A daily practice will enable us to build our capacity to care. Little by little we’re shaping our brains, changing our minds and sustaining open hearts.
It’s so good to know that compassion is being taught all over the world. Contemplatives, artists, educators, scientists and students are coming together to learn from each other. I shared a wonderful resource that is being made freely available. It’s a multimedia e-book: “Compassion: Bridging Practice and Science,” edited by Tania and Matthias Bolz. This is outcome of a collaborative workshop How to Train Compassion in 2011, at the Max-Planck-Institute in Leipzig. The book describes many different forms of compassion practice from various perspectives such as experiences in schools, in psychotherapy, coaching, or in the end-of-life care. It includes amazing artwork, sound collages and guided meditations. I’m inspired by this skillful use of our digital technology in service of compassion!
You can find this week’s homework and other resources at: