We had our Sunday Introduction to Meditation Class at Yoga Bliss. We practiced a loving kindness meditation inspired by author and meditation instructor, Tara Brach. We discussed some of the neurological underpinnings of empathy as outlined by Dr. Rick Hanson in his book, The Buddha’s Brain: the Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom. We also discussed some of the exciting new research about stress that Dr. Kelly McGonigal outlined in her TED Talk entitled, How to Make Stress Your Friend.
Rick’s book describes how we evolved to be the most empathetic species on the planet. Our perceptual motor systems light up both when we move and when we see another person move. He explains how our unique mirror neurons light up not only when we experience strong emotions but also when we see others having those feelings, especially the people we care about. We have this amazing capability of imagining the thoughts of others that psychologists call “theory of mind”. These three systems of action, feeling and thinking enable us to understand from inside out what it feels like to be an other person.
Rick refers to an often told story about how our hearts hold a “wolf of love” and a “wolf of hate”. The one we feed makes all the difference. He explains that our aggressive and loving tendencies evolved synergistically to ensure our survival. Both of these wolves are a part of us for better or worse. Trying to get rid of our “hating wolf” will only result in self-aggression. He suggests we practice cultivating our loving tendencies while acknowledging and restraining our “hating wolf”. We can do this by expanding the circle of “us” and becoming aware of the many subtle instances of casting others as “them.”
Thankfully he also explains that our loving, bonding capabilities are actually stronger. Love feels good. We actually have a biochemicals or “love drugs” that prompt us to care for each other, bond with our parents, mates and children. Oxytocin is a powerful neuromodulator that helps us sustain these close relationships.
Kelly’s exciting talk also involves the powerful effects of oxytocin in mitigating the negative effects of stress and even healing damaged heart tissue! She explains how recent research has prompted her to change her views about stress and how it makes us sick. She describes a study that made her rethink her approach to stress. Here’s part of the talk transcript (I added the bold type):
This study tracked 30,000 adults in the United States for eight years, and they started by asking people, “How much stress have you experienced in the last year?” They also asked, “Do you believe that stress is harmful for your health?” And then they used public death records to find out who died. People who experienced a lot of stress in the previous year had a 43 percent increased risk of dying. But that was only true for the people who also believed that stress is harmful for your health. People who experienced a lot of stress but did not view stress as harmful were no more likely to die. In fact, they had the lowest risk of dying of anyone in the study, including people who had relatively little stress.
Now the researchers estimated that over the eight years they were tracking deaths, 182,000 Americans died prematurely, not from stress, but from the belief that stress is bad for you. That is over 20,000 deaths a year. Now, if that estimate is correct, that would make believing stress is bad for you the 15th largest cause of death in the United States last year, killing more people than skin cancer, HIV/AIDS and homicide.
Kelly stated that science supports the contention that when we change our minds about stress, we can change our bodies’ response to stress. The key is to view the physiological changes brought on by stress – heart pounding, faster breathing, sweating – as signs that our bodies are energized, preparing to meet a challenge.
She goes on to describe one of the most “under-appreciated aspects of the stress response”: the idea that stress makes you social. It turns out that our love-drug, oxytocin, is also a stress hormone! She explains:
It’s as much a part of your stress response as the adrenaline that makes your heart pound. And when oxytocin is released in the stress response, it is motivating you to seek support. Your biological stress response is nudging you to tell someone how you feel instead of bottling it up. Your stress response wants to make sure you notice when someone else in your life is struggling so that you can support each other. When life is difficult, your stress response wants you to be surrounded by people who care about you.
As it turns out this wonder drug also acts on our bodies. One of its main roles is to protect the cardiovascular system from the effects of stress:
It’s a natural anti-inflammatory. It also helps your blood vessels stay relaxed during stress. But my favorite effect on the body is actually on the heart. Your heart has receptors for this hormone, and oxytocin helps heart cells regenerate and heal from any stress-induced damage. This stress hormone strengthens your heart, and the cool thing is that all of these physical benefits of oxytocin are enhanced by social contact and social support, so when you reach out to others under stress, either to seek support or to help someone else, you release more of this hormone, your stress response becomes healthier, and you actually recover faster from stress. I find this amazing, that your stress response has a built-in mechanism for stress resilience, and that mechanism is human connection.
I encourage you to try and listen to her talk. She goes on to discuss the miraculous effects that active caring and helping have on people undergoing crisis. Caring created resilience. If we can view our stress response as helpful we can create the “biology of courage.” I’ll end with her encouraging words:
Stress gives us access to our hearts. The compassionate heart that finds joy and meaning in connecting with others, and yes, your pounding physical heart, working so hard to give you strength and energy, and when you choose to view stress in this way, you’re not just getting better at stress, you’re actually making a pretty profound statement. You’re saying that you can trust yourself to handle life’s challenges, and you’re remembering that you don’t have to face them alone.
You can find this week’s homework and other resources at: