“The pain of the world pierces the heart but we never forget the goodness of being alive.” ~ Pema
We had our third meeting of our Living Beautifully Meditation Book Group at Yoga Bliss yesterday. We came together for yoga practice, meditation and discussion of the second section in Living Beautifully:
The 2nd Commitment, ToTake Care of One Another.
This commitment challenges us to care. We are challenged to care enough not to turn our back on each other, on the world, on ourselves. Taking up this challenge is what Pema calls the path of the spiritual warrior. The commitment is to stay open to the world, to never close down to anyone even if it takes us beyond our comfort zone. We explored this by practicing Tonglen together. We listened to Pema guide us in breathing in the fear, anxiety or pain of a difficult situation and breathing out a sense of comfort and ease, something that could ease discomfort. We started with our personal situation and then extended the practice beyond ourselves to include people who might be experiencing the same feelings or difficult situations.
We observed how this is really a counter habitual practice. As yoga practitioners we are accustomed to breathing in that which is nourishing to ourselves. This experience definitely takes you out of your comfort zone. Several of us touched pain and suffering quite deeply. I found myself having to take a resting breath to ease the physical tension in my neck and throat. Yet Pema is offering us strong encouragement:
The incentive for developing this capacity is the shift that happens when what you usually try to escape becomes a vehicle for awakening to your fundamental primordial goodness, to clear mindedness, to caring that holds nothing back.
This is quite a promise.
In taking this commitment we practice both at the level of aspiration and literally helping people with our actions. She describes the commitment as being so broad as being like “holding a diversity party in your living room ‘til the end of time.” As we get stronger we’re able to tolerate more and more difficult people and situations. We develop this strength with the fundamental willingness to stay with our own strong feelings and sensations. When we falter we reaffirm the vow in the same way: we acknowledge that we’ve shut down somehow and bring our awareness fully to our experience in the moment, feel our hearts – even placing a hand over them, a gesture which expresses self acceptance and then we move on to the next moment without an agenda.
I appreciate the metaphor for cultivating this kind of strength, this open ended willingness, as planting and growing seeds in the garden of our hearts and minds. One never really knows how they will grow – yet we are engaged as we tend them with the light of our awareness. Several of us shared spontaneous experiences with a kind of openness that surprised us – entering a meeting without attachment to outcome, penetrating a family member’s hurt feelings to the point of really understanding how we share them.
Pema describes 3 ways in which we can embark on this commitment to help:
As a monarch – one who gets their own kingdom in order and then sets about helping others
As a ferryman – one who uses personal pain as a stepping-stone to the understanding the pain of others
As a shepherd – one who puts others before them self
I think we are all engaged in helping in some or all of these ways. I think it’s good to acknowledge the good we do for our selves and others. Why not look at the evidence of what Pema calls our basic, primordial goodness? We all have it.
I am reminded of an amazing documentary Tim and I saw recently called Ethel. Rory Kennedy, Ethel’s daughter, tells the story of her mother’s life long experience of tragedy and loss. Each incident seemed to become a catalyst for compassion – for a life of caring and helping. She inspired her children to explore the world by sending them out into it – to Africa, South America, a Native American reservation. I never knew this family so sincerely wished to serve notwithstanding the privilege they enjoyed. I was also moved by the outpouring of love expressed by the numbers of people lining the railroad tracks as her husband, Bobby Kennedy’s, body was transported from New York city to Washington D.C. It was so good to see people coming together to share their grief and their love so openly.
Inviting everyone into my living room? Inviting the people whose views I perceive to be damaging to the world? Inviting the “trouble makers” that Pema calls our own special “gurus”? She advises us to start where we are – to open the door to every one for as long as we can, each successive time we keep it open a little longer. Pema says we can handle it. We have lots to practice with. I’m going to start. I’m going to listen to views that differ from mine. I’m going to stop denigrating the politicos who I don’t respect. I’m going to find a picture of my Dad, the one who abandoned our family years ago, look at it every day and wish him well. I’ll let you know how it goes.
You can find this week’s homework and other resources at:
Living Beautifully Meditation Book Group Meeting 3 Homework
Thank you for your willingness to explore and for giving me the support to look more deeply.
Namaste!