At the Crossroads in the Snow

Red Velvet Buddha in the Snow

It’s hard to see that the Buddha is smiling even though it’s cold.  Isn’t that just like him?  The embodiment of equanimity.  I am humbly reminded that it takes practice.  In Taking the Leap Ani Pema Chodron urges us to practice for each other and even the survival of the planet.  She challenges us to recognize that we are always at a crossroad of choice.  She encourages us to have faith in our potential to disentangle ourselves from old habits and our ability to love and care about each other.  All it takes is a pause:  three conscious breaths.  That ‘s easy, isn’t it?

Over the course of our snow bound days I had some interesting opportunities to practice.  It’s worth it.  I got some “in-sights”.  It started with the experience of putting together this site.  It was a long day of sitting before the computer screen, image and word processing, flashing back and forth from page to page.  If you are reading this you are probably familiar the experience.  It’s like going down a rabbit hole – I was drawn deeper and deeper into a cyber-world of thoughts and images one on top of the other.  I was drawn farther and farther away: from others and my “self” as a whole person with a body and heart too.     Hah! I thought this was supposed to be about sharing.

In my usual daily activities I move quite a bit and interact with lots of people.  The bodywork that I do requires me to really listen to people on multiple levels – using all my senses to be helpful and safe – observing, feeling and listening my to partners in healing.  It’s truly a body-heart-mind experience being present moment to moment.  Thankfully, I usually feel balanced calm energy on “work” days.  I “en-joy” the work, it nourishes me.

It wasn’t until my partner Tim came into the room that I realized the state I was in.  It was so difficult to stop, to shift focus in order to listen and really hear him, really see him.  He spoke to me and my brain couldn’t immediately understand what he was saying – it was so compelled to continue down the cyber-hole.  Then I noticed the overall level of tension in my body, a bound, wiry feeling.  Yikes!  I wasn’t breathing fully.  What was that Ani Pema suggested, three conscious breaths?

In-sight:  we need out-sight too, we need each other.  Tim’s presence, his humor and compassion helped me get in touch with my own.  Our true real-time interaction helped me pause, become aware and integrate the whole experience.   Our connection not only drew me back from the rabbit hole – it brought me back to my “whole” self, to Tim and to the world of sentient beings.   I think I’m getting the message.  In the pause the capacity to care arises.  Guess what?  I think it was there the whole time.  (Ani Pema might say that’s our natural goodness.)

O.K. I recognize another crossroad and I choose to breathe deeply and move!