We had our Sunday Introduction to Meditation Class at Yoga Bliss. We practiced a guided meditation to explore the sense of self adapted from Dr. Rick Hanson‘s book, The Buddha’s Brain: the Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom.
In the fascinating last chapter, Relaxing the Self, Rick explains how we develop a sense of self: from the time we’re born we grow more “self” aware with every interaction we have with the world. Of course we need a healthy sense of self to mature and love. Yet this same sense of self, this “I,” can also make us suffer in many ways. When we take things personally, identify with or try to possess things that inevitably end and when we withdraw or separate ourselves from others. Relieving this sense of suffering is a strong motivation to learn more about the mechanisms of the “self” and how to relax the “I” enough to feel life with a sense of spaciousness – like the sky.
Our guided practiced explored different ways we perceive the world: in a relaxed open way unbounded by the self as in “there is breathing” and in a way where we identify all perception and interaction with the world with “I” as in “I am breathing.” Rick proposes we try to refrain from self-reference to “I,” “me,” or “mine” just for a period of time. If you try it, you quickly realize how we are so very often engaged in “self building” or “selfing.” Alternatively, if we can recognize or “catch” those moments where the sense of self is absent, we find that we function quite effectively, sometimes even better, without it.
He goes on to explain how our sense of self depends on our relationships, including those with wider world. The most fundamental basis for our sense of “I” emerges in relationship with our bodies and with the world. It’s interesting to reflect on how we help each other become who we are through relationship. Who “I” am depends on so many things: my genetic inheritance, personal history, temperament and a given situation. It depends on the relationship I have with my body, the people in my life and my environment: all things that are continuously changing. It’s fascinating to learn a bit about how the brain can index all these factors into a narrative that appears continuous and real over time. This “experiencer” of experience does not exist in any one place in the brain. It’s more like a sequence of neural patterns that express themselves in response to life situations. Rick calls this the “apparent self.”
My partner Tim and I went for a wondrous walk in the woods this week. It was different from the task-oriented way I often approach “hiking through” with the aim of getting from point A to B. We allowed ourselves to really wander and wonder – spontaneously relating and taking in forest: trees towering or morphing under moss, woodpecker knocking, mushrooms and fungi expressing as psychedelic fairyland, beaver pond reflecting stillness and movement, fish jumping. Their “suchness” is arising in consciousness in this writing – feeling the tug of “I” now and also recalling how relaxed – even absent – the sense of “I” was in the forest.
Rick offers a variety of suggestions to help relax the sense of “I” enough to experience the flow of life and the boundless sky-like nature of awareness. In this space we’re more inclined to realize open heartedness and goodwill toward our shared well being. In this space we often feel more joined with the world – especially in considering how we care for and consume its resources. This seems to be place from which the experience of gratitude springs.
There are feelings of deep appreciation for everyone who came to the group and to those whose work supports our shared practice. Thanks to Maria Bliss in making our beautiful class room freely available. Thanks to Rick Hanson for great generosity, insight and teaching. The “I,” the “us” and the awareness that is – what a paradox!
You can find this week’s homework and other resources at: