We had our Sunday Introduction to Meditation Class at Yoga Bliss. The class was dedicated to the memory of Kim Werdel and her family. We practiced an adaptation of Dr. Rick Hanson‘s guided meditation called Expanding the Circle of Loving Kindness. The meditation is drawn from his book, The Buddha’s Brain: the Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love and Wisdom.
As a contemplative practice, loving kindness, is often expressed as an aspiration that all beings be happy. Students reported on their experience of this meditation last week and several commented about how they expanded the circle of people they included in their hearts beyond the recommended grouping of five: a benefactor, a beloved, a neutral, a difficult person and oneself. In Chapter 10, Rick offers many suggestions for cultivating loving kindness both in meditation and daily life.
He explains that the related practice of compassion is the wish that all beings be relieved of suffering. Extending loving kindness and compassion are both ways of expanding the circle of “us”. Both practices involve recruiting our hearts and minds. We start with our intention to be loving, kind and compassionate and we bolster our intention by cultivating the feeling states of these qualities inside ourselves. Finally, we express our hearts and minds in action.
On Sunday, we dedicated our compassion practice to the family of a Yoga Bliss friend who died unexpectedly from suspected heart problems last week. We started by cultivating a a growing sense of loving kindness within ourselves, sensing the feeling’s inherent strength and peace. Then we continued by sensing that loving kindness as having a life of its own extending beyond ourselves or any one person. Once we established the strength and boundless quality of this loving force we began to extend it to others. We used the following aspirations beginning with Kim’s family and then grew the circle to include other people in our lives who have lost a loved one, who are suffering from illness or some other life difficulty.
May you be safe.
May you be well.
May the pain of your grief and suffering be eased.
May you be at peace.
We ended by extending the same wishes on behalf of ourselves.
I found the meditation and our discussion so moving. Students very generously shared their own experience with grief and the particular challenges of extending loving kindness. One student who recently lost a loved one observed that the gradual process of letting go is an integral part of grieving. I’ve realized that remembering is also a part of living and while painful memories remain, precious memories gradually return. Doing this type of meditation as a practice can be truly revealing. It’s often a bit easier to offer others compassion than it is to give it to ourselves. Perhaps Rick’s suggestions that we imagine our loving kindness as strong, boundless and having a life of its own can help.
You can find this week’s homework and other resources at: