The Yogabliss  on-line Moving into Meditation class met this morning.  I think when we meet this way we are giving each other a personal gift – we allow ourselves to be seen in the intimacy of our homes.  Thank you all for that.  In preparing for today’s class reflected on how mindfulness is a practice of intimacy.  When I am able to stop and really be with my own body I realize there is so much calling for my attention – often for healing.  I stumbled upon a beautiful essay about healing trauma written by author Katherine Robb.  Katherine is working on #TheFearGardenProject which she uses to explore small moments in every day life that might foster connection.  She posts beautiful imagery and also writes essays about healing and trauma.  I found her essay, Listening to the Body as a Guide Through the Trauma of COVID-19, very moving.  She describes how many of us carry wounds in our bodies without our mind’s awareness or understanding.  She describes her experiences of somatic – body awareness – healing as a way of being true to herself. The work is incremental and slow – very much like mindfulness practice.

Guided Relaxation

Be welcomed . . . here . . . now . . . this moment . . . this breath . . . feel all of yourself arriving . . . let your awareness fill the field of your body –  notice where your awareness is drawn . . . be curious about whatever surfaces . . . and letting it be just as it is . . . letting your awareness be light . . . Let the truth of your experience, right now, reveal itself to you  . . . not having to change it in anyway . . . allowing . . . soft sensations of relaxation . . . hard edges of tension . . . Listen to your body’s messages coming and going . . . Be present for when sensations seem to merge with emotional feeling however subtle or strong . . . Notice where you can feel emotions in your body . . . pleasant feelings of rest . . . anxious noises of impatience or stress . . . You’re being expansive enough to allow your life  to be in this moment  . . . To be where you are right now . . . Staying long enough to learn what there is to learn . . . to feel what you are feeling . . . 

Focus your awareness the breath . . welcome each breath . . . receive each breath just as it is . . . not having to change it . . . Let your awareness be carried by each incoming breath . . . each outgoing breath . . . How long can your ride each current of breath?  . . . When awareness drifts off the breath find it again and let yourself be carried . . . feeling in-breath . . . feeling out-breath . . . 

Now broaden awareness again to the larger field of the body . . . continuing to receive each moment just as it is . . . sensations surface . . . thoughts wander . . . emotions rise . . . just letting them be in the spaciousness of choiceless awareness . . . Can you be present for that instant your awareness leaves the field of your body?  What carries you into yesterday – what draws you into tomorrow?  Can you connect with the energy that compels you to leave where you are right now?  Often we recognize a sense of urgency or anxiety . . . It blankets our vulnerability . . . our fear of the many uncertainties we face . . . Our vulnerability – such an essential part of being human – is something we all share.

As we stay with our experience we practice mindfulness – we can narrow or widen the lens of our awareness – and stay present where we are right now.  We remain in relationship, intimate relationship . . . as experience reveals itself . . . We are nurturing that part of ourselves that enables us to find a helpful response to life’s difficulties . . . We recognize those moments when we are called to pause, to listen and to express our caring . . . In staying with our experience we come to appreciate the deeper beauty fo being fully human.

Hospice carer, teacher and author, Frank Ostaseski, reminds us that

“.  . . true mindfulness begins and ends with a simple choice to pay attention to what is so.  . . . feel open to things without assigning them a value:  pain, joy, sorrow, anxiety.  Past, present, future all become the same.  It can all be there and that’s okay.  There is room for everything to exist.   . . . It feels like a very safe place to land, a home . . . mindfulness . . . is about being authentic, imperfect, vulnerable and human.”

When we are willing to be vulnerable, we can feel the energy of personality in our attachments . . . our aversions . . . We can offer our personality compassion . . . it works so hard . . . defending and struggling . . .  The teaching is to let it be . . . welcome it all . . . allow experience to unfold . . .

Frank writes:

“. . .   Our minds are wild.  We don’t tame them by trying to stop our thoughts, repressing our emotions, or even by resolving our problems.  We have a lot less control over life than we imagined.  . . . Your mind didn’t become wild when you started to practice meditation.  The mindfulness simply made you aware of what had been happening in the background all along – what your personality is reacting to and trying to manage.  Here is a counter-intuitive suggestion:  allow it all.   . . .. . . meditation is about making friends with ourselves, to meeting each and every part of our lives with curiosity and compassion.  . . .

Poet  Jennifer Williamson writes:

I Am Enough 

There is a wholeness that’s already mine.
It’s already ours.
It’s a reality that’s already there,
That I am enough.
I take on faith
That wholeness is already mine,
That I need do nothing to deserve,
That my worthiness is based only on my being.
I am wise enough to let go,
And I am strong enough to remember the truth
Of who I really am.
I can encounter the world
In such a way
That I remember who I am.

I am the rest inside the unrest.
I am the depth of the sky,
And the light piercing the sea.
I am the crest of a wave.
All that I need to be,
I am.
There is no problem to solve in this moment.
There is no plan to make,
No failure to be feared,
No other place to be.
This moment is enough.
This place is enough.
This imperfection is enough.
I feel the fullness of my life in this moment.
I feel the richness of my life in this space.
I am loved beyond thought,
And I have nothing to prove.
There is no one to impress.
I receive the message
That being is enough. . . .

Here right now. . . This moment is enough.  This place is enough.  This imperfection is enough.  How truly intimate mindfulness practice becomes . . .