Our Moving into Meditation class continues to draw inspiration from  Frank Ostaseski’s wonderful book about living with the awareness that we’re going to die.  His book distills what he’s learned into Five Invitations we can answer in living a conscious life.  In today’s class we continued working with the fourth invitation.  Frank invites us enter a more intimate relationship with ourselves as we rest in life’s pauses.  He encourages us to be aware in the still point, at the threshold of life’s infinite possibilities.  Can we be present for what surfaces from the still point at the heart of intimacy?

We also drew inspiration from bodymind therapist and poet and writer, Jennifer Williamson.

Guided Relaxation

Be welcomed . . . here . . . now . . . this moment . . . this breath . . . feel all of yourself arriving . . . and come to welcome each breath . . . your warm attention on the breath . . . the energetic current between body and mind . . . breath calming the body . . . the body calming the mind . . . we can feel ourselves gradually unwinding . . . slowly opening as a soft sensitivity infuses our awareness with acceptance . . . receiving the present moment just as it is . . .  thoughts wander . . . emotions surface . . . just letting them be in the spaciousness of choiceless awareness . . . 

And then we can gather our attention to the experience of breathing . . . staying with it as it changes . . . developing concentration – resiliency . . . our mindfulness growing more stable .. . letting ourselves sink more deeply into experience . . . understanding emerging . . . we form a relationship with experience in which it reveals itself to us . . . the forces underlying thoughts, feelings and emotions . . . how their expression can lead to suffering or wisdom . . . we connect with our inner guide . . . that part of ourselves that enables us to nurture the helpful response to challenging feelings, persons or situations . . . 

Right now we are drawing on this inner resource that helps us to remain calm and grounded when in the midst of an argument . . . when we confront illness, when we face loss. 

Frank O. writes:

“. . . mindfulness is older than religion, it is older than magic. . . . mindfulness isn’t just about mental fitness, productivity or achieving a specific outcome.  It can . . . lead to healthy and positive changes in our lives.  Yet the solitary pursuit of those ends can eclipse our appreciation of the deeper beauty of  being fully human.

We are always messing with ourselves.  We tell ourselves what we should be experiencing and what we shouldn’t.  We work hard to define ourselves, hoping that we are doing it in the right way.  This constant activity is totally exhausting.  Personal development easily becomes endless and effortful.  We try  . . . to be better, to be someone special.  There is a certain aggression in all this so-called self improvement.  Better to return to the true intention of meditation, which is to let go of striving, to embrace things as they are and with equanimity, to discover freedom.”

Poet  Jennifer Williamson writes:

I Am Enough 

There is a wholeness that’s already mine.
It’s already ours.
I am not just the seed,
I am the rain that waters the flower.
It’s a reality that’s already there,
That I am enough.

I take on faith
That wholeness is already mine,
That I need do nothing to deserve,
That my worthiness is based only on my being.
I am wise enough to let go,

And I am strong enough to remember the truth
Of who I really am.
I can encounter the world
In such a way
That I remember who I am.
I am the rest inside the unrest.
I am the depth of the sky,
And the light piercing the sea.
I am the crest of a wave.
All that I need to be,
I am.

“I am the rest inside the unrest.”  and we can also be the unrest inside the rest.  Just allowing the unrest to be there in choiceless awareness . . . 

Frank reminds us that

“.  . . . true mindfulness begins and ends with a simple choice to pay attention to what is so.  . . . feel open to things without assigning them a value:  pain, joy, sorrow, anxiety.  Past, present, future all become the same.  It can all be there and that’s okay.  There is room for everything to exist.   . . . Mindfulness is and always will be about getting back to my breath.  It feels like a very safe place to land, a home . . . mindfulness . . . is about being authentic, imperfect, vulnerable and human.”

We don’t have to strive for or cling to our ideal of meditation or mindfulness.  We can feel the energy of personality in our attachments . . . our aversions . . . We can offer our personality compassion . . . it works so hard . . . defending and struggling . . .  The teaching is to relax . . . let it rest . . . welcome it all . . . we calm our bodies and minds and allow experience to unfold . . . insight and wisdom to emerge . . . 

Frank writes:

“. . .   Our minds are wild.  We don’t tame them by trying to stop our thoughts, repressing our emotions, or even by resolving our problems.  We have a lot less control over life than we imagined.  . . . Your mind didn’t become wild when you started to practice meditation.  The mindfulness simply made you aware of what had been happening in the background all along – what your personality is reacting to and trying to manage.  Here is a counter-intuitive suggestion:  allow it all.   . . .

The object of meditation isn’t to change ourselves, to throw out the old and bring in the new.  It’s about making friends with ourselves, to meeting each and every part of our lives with curiosity and compassion.  . . .”

Jennifer Williamson agrees:

There is no problem to solve in this moment.
There is no plan to make,
No failure to be feared,
No other place to be.
This moment is enough.
This place is enough.
This imperfection is enough.
I am patient enough for my life to unfold in divine timing.

I feel the fullness of my life in this moment.
I feel the richness of my life in this space.
I am loved beyond thought,
And I have nothing to prove.
There is no one to impress.
I receive the message
That being is enough. . . .

Beyond the shadows
That I have created,
The message remains:
I am the same.
I have always been enough,
Simply by being here.
Simply by being.

It only takes a moment,
And I remember this again.

Here right now. . . This moment is enough.  This place is enough.  This imperfection is enough.  How truly intimate mindfulness practice becomes . . . 

Welcoming everything . . . pushing away nothing . . . we meet our very shadows . . . and gradually come to see through our conditioning and habitual behaviors . . . this is where the real freedom of the practice lies.  Not an escape but rather an intimacy with our being . . . with life . . . 

In our every day lives we can pause . . . find the still point . . . arriving at the the thresholds of new possibilities . . . simply aware . . . simply being . . . Frank says like trees are utterly themselves. . . .